not to be overly dramatic * clears throat * but not being able to write feels about the same as being a fish stuck in a bowl with only a half inch of water in it.
yesterday i had a discussion with a friend about inspiration. "when i can't write," he told me, "i think of Ed Sitting on My Shoulder."
whoa, hold it right there. i said. who's Ed Sitting on Your Shoulder?
instantly bashful, my friend he'd prefer to explain himself when we were both drinking, but that when he wrote, he knew Ed sat on his shoulder. turns out Ed (short for Editor), was only there to create havoc. Ed made him delete pages of good work. Ed was overly critical. Ed wouldn't let him try different ideas.
i love hearing how other writers deal with the ups and downs of writing.
especially since my own downswing has lasted for the past month (or three). i can blame it on work. in the club industry it would appear no one has a day off. ever. nor are there hours when it's inappropriate to get in touch with someone. hello 11:30 pm Wednesday phone calls. hello late Sunday afternoon texts about gentleman's parties. (on a side thought... how come strippers are strippers, but their customers are "gentleman?" it seems to me if you're a gentleman, you don't pay a woman to grind on your lap...she does it for free. badumpbump.)
ANYWAY the truth is, the no-writing problem isn't work. it's inspiration. or namely the fact that I have none. Ed has full on taken up residency on my writer's block. (yes. i went there.)
i currently have three works-in-progress. they've all been on idle for awhile. sure, i work on them. a little here and there almost every day, but it's been feeling exactly like that. work.
then this morning whilst putting on mascara, i thought: huh, it'd be interesting if... and boop!
i had it. no. it was better than that. i nailed it. inspiration not only struck (as it always always does, silly girl) it lightning bolted. in the next hour and a half i was more productive than i was in the last month and a half. i figured out the entire remaining plot of my favorite WIP. i don't know why it happened today. yes, i'd been devoting a little more time to simply thinking about my work, but why this morning did i have the watershed moment? why had Ed left?
i'm not going to question it. instead, on this Easter Sunday, Agnostic that I am, i'm giving thanks.
maybe my family is celebrating Easter a state's length away, but i'm giving thanks that they've been sending me pictures of eggs all day.
i'm giving thanks that my (for reals) gentleman might be working a double, but he promises chocolate treats later on. thanks that i got my favorite dryer at the busy laundromat that erroneously gives you 20 minutes for 35 cents instead of 8 (mwahahah). thanks that the only work related text i received today was from one of my fave employees wishing me a Happy Easter. (how freakin' cute is that?) and thanks that it smells like beautiful, rainy, fresh spring outside, i'm making fried rice for dinner and plan to eat a ton of it, that Game of Thrones Season 3 premiers tonight and most of all THANK YOU WHOMEVER WHATEVER YOU ARE BUT I'M STICKING WITH CALLING YOU INSPIRATION. my fishbowl fill-eth over. writing is fun again.
also, thanks to you for being you and for reading me. you are a good egg.