"i wish you posted a picture," she said and i sighed because i ain't one bit photogenic.
i'm not trying to be coy. i'm not one of those people that waves a hand at you and says, "come on stop, i look terrible" and everything about them oozes gorgeous. on the whole i think i'm pretty decent looking. which makes it even more frustrating that my face is allergic to photographs. it's like a demon lives under my skin and it's only exposed on film. what else could explain how puffy, googly eyed, double chinned i get?
anyway, so red haired sis' says, "where's your picture," and i think, alright, i'm not bad looking tonight. screw it. i'm the photographer, there'll have to be one good photo even if it takes twenty shots, right? no, very wrong. so very, very wrong.
disclaimer: blogging is weird to me because it's so self-absorbed. however, my agent is making me do this (hi katie! you are the bestest) so let me acknowledge that yes, taking photos of yourself and then dissecting them is even more self-absorbed. but hey they're awful photos, so that's okay, right? i know, quit stalling.
here we go....
seriously, when did my nose starting taking up half the real estate on my face?
it's clearly a bad picture when you send it to your own mother and her response text reads, "yikes!" a few shots go by this way and i think, "forget this from the side business." take two. full on.
it's like i have two different faces mushed together.
maybe it's still the nose, i'll hide it all together.
now what the heck is up with my eyes?
i call in backup. my mom says, "i have cute photos of you on my phone, i'll send them."
i read an interview in which the interviewee said know your angles. cool. here are mine, because to be fair, there are a few instances when i take nice photos.
a. when they're blurry.
b. when they're dark and blurry.
c. taken from above. this angle probably helps with the giant shnoz problem. (i miss that haircut)
d. when my head is cut off.
anyhoo, regardless, these are more photos than any stranger (or friend) would ever need to see of me.
at least it can't get any worse than this.
this is why coffee comes before anything else in the morning. man, i need another cup.