Monday, June 27, 2011

gimme a break

oomph. monday. blogging. is the Folgers ready?
ahhh. okay, better.

today i'm going to blog about an issue that might Ensure your discomfort. certainly, some will think it's tacky to mention. today at we'll be

or you know, i'll be discussing money, 'cause it's my blog.

whilst re-designing my blog i monetized it. which means there are two eyesores now running somewhere along the right side of your screen.

if you blog you know how much times it takes up. also, chances are if you blog, you have a friend who has a friend who "doesn't need to work anymore because she now lives off her blog." how the hell do they do it? (no. really. how?) i think it's called Adsense.

i've gone back and forth on the idea for months. i don't buy into advertising. my shelves are filled with generic brands (mainly because i'm cheap). but there's something hugely skeevy about putting ads on a blog that you're supposed to be doing out of love (not because every writer has one and your agent highly recommends it). you just don't see a lot of ads on writer's blogs.

when poor nathan bransford (and by poor, i mean successful, former agent, published writer, bastion and beacon of writerly advice) floated the idea of monetizing his blog, the Tide of the comment section swirled into a Whirlpool of hate. "whenever i see ads on a blog i stop reading and stop visiting that site." as with all the blogs i visit, i mentally but didn't actually comment: that's just dumb.

heaven forbid that Nathan, who is a Wikipedia of info and YMCA of community for countless people, actually make a living off of being so.

screw it, i thought. i spend half of my time worrying about making the wrong decisions. better to do something than nothing.

my sister sent me links to blogs that she thought were Tops at including ads (a Buffalo grocery store chain is the reference on that one, folks). with my crit partner offering a Nike slogan of moral support, i just did it.

a day later, as with most of my agonized, over-thought purchases, i was disappointed.

my ads looked so...addy. i wanted Cathy Erway's blog's ads. hers are Tiffany's. mine are.. ahh screw this trying to come up with dumb ad references... my ads are ghetto.

why don't writers advertise on their blogs? (though Nathan Brandsford, you totally should, dude.) to see any profit you need thousands of hits a day. hits a day: 50. err 40. and never you mind that 20 of those clicks are from my mom checking to see if i've posted.

more than that? of those thousands of hits, i'd need viewers who actually click on ads. ain't gonna happen. nevermind that i don't know anyone who clicks on any website ads, but writers and readers are a bunch of smarties.

ain't nobody sayin': "Man, if only i knew where to look to find info about online creative writing classes. What? OMG! There's a very ugly column ad. Thank you!"

perhaps monetizing the blog is a bad idea. but it's fun to watch my ads change.

yesterday, i read a NY Times article having to do with healthcare. i'd get more specific, but for the life of me, i can't remember a thing about the article. so much for bettering myself. when i looked at my blog minutes later, the ugly column now displayed an ad for online nursing degrees.

online nursing degrees? is that what accounts for the health care awfulness i've met with?

i wonder if the ads will be like Twitter? you tweet about making sure you wear nice undies with your skirts 'cause you never know when said skirt might fly over your head as you cross the BQE overpass (true story), and suddenly you have lingerie companies following you.

if that's the case, then William Sonoma, Disney, Gap. can my ads please not follow my own online browsing? i see a future in which this advertising gets embarrassing.

"looks like corrie's shopping for zit cream again. today the ugly column ad's offering online dermatology classes."

* that was a joke people. i don't buy zit i buy it at the store. also i don't like to say zit. but have not found a more appropriate word for pimple. which is equally gross and probably also tacky to talk about. ** that zit cream bought at store comment was also a joke. i don't buy zit cream seeing as i have flawless skin. *** fine. i don't have flawless skin, but i really don't buy zit cream.

also, for the record, my coffee of cheap choice is Cafe Bustello, not Folgers. i wouldn't want anyone thinking i was into false advertising.


  1. You're so funny. I love you even with your monetized blog.

  2. Sure was curious about that emu oil!

  3. oomph. i'm outted on the emu oil -- tho that was a very special circumstance:) and thanks amy! i just looked at your family pictures on facebook. you guys look terrific! i feel like i knew you when you were all babies. wait. i did:)