Monday, December 27, 2010

holiday revisited

i stayed in brooklyn for christmas this year.

i missed my family. period. everytime i heard a christmas carol, i felt that buffalo tug. but also? wow! what a fun few days that was. below is my pictoral review.


usually i spend it hanging out with my dad and sisters, which leads to a big sleep over and presents in the morning. totally fun. this year i spent shopping! which i actually enjoyed. the trick for me (see previous complainy blog on the subject) is to stay away from big box stores and not to start too early. with this in mind i spent a good productive hour at the Fort Green indoor fleamarket/craft fair. i also had luck at a few smaller shops in my neighborhood, where i bought this for my dad:

which could be, no is, the most useless present ever. but i kept laughing in the store while i flipped through it, mainly because of pictures like this:

and this:

who doesn't love a good penis cake joke? over all, i bought some pretty special gifts. which is maybe what people find so appealing about this whole gift giving thing. oh! i also finished up my star present.

my friend Carla saw it and said, "cool, you could hang that in the bathroom." i said, "um or somewhere else."


red-haired sis and i brunched at a place where they served a tiny, curly hair with the silverware. then we saw the new harry potter. afterwards i ran around the city for a few more gifts. i bought this for my brother-in-law:

because who doesn't want a tiny bowl for pickles? maybe i was still thinking about that funny cake book. either way, it wins second prize for most useless present this year.

in the evening, my friend Carla (above mentioned) and I took the subway to Dyker Heights, which this time of year is affectionately renamed Dyker Lights. here's why:

that's Carla!

that's the largest, creepiest santa in the world.

ditto nutcracker men.

ditto that guy.

a few home owners cheated. they actually paid people to come and decorate their houses. but i guess it draws the attention they wanted since a tour bus pulled up while we were there.


i thought it'd be sad opening presents alone, but i made coffee, went at my own pace, and didn't have to make over-exaggerated happy faces everytime i opened something. also, i called my mom so we could open everything "together." best part? no over-exaggerated happy faces were even needed. i loved everything. especially the ipod touch she got me (yes!) which lets me do video and photos, not to mention twitter and all the other things it's recommended that the newbie author does, but i don't because they're annoying and i own the commodore computer of cell phones.

also, she got me this:

a shower curtain map! which a friend at work has and who on repeated occassions has made me jealous with his knowledge of african countries. boo-yah, kev. now i can name mauritania too.

later in the day, after five more phone calls to mom, i went to a friend's house for dinner. i made an apple, cranberry crumble pie, sweetpotato pie and fresh whipped cream. there was a ton of food, everyone was merry, and i met two people who work for/at Martha Stewart. they said it's mandatory when not in NYC for someone to smell the drivers they hire to take Martha places, due to her heightened olfactory senses and all. the poor dear.

whilst at the party i made the mistake of consuming eight different kinds of red wine. which meant i woke up at 4:30 in the morning. which i expected to happen. it also meant from 5 until 10:30 in the morning i was looking at this:

which i so not expected to happen. and vowed to do never again...until next time.

now brooklyn's buried under 3 feet of snow, i'm feeling a little less queasy, and over all, i have to say, that was a pretty awesome christmas. the best part? i get to go home and see my family for new years.

hope you all had a great holiday too...minus the yakking.


  1. 1) Sounds like a good Christmas to me!
    2) That cake book is hilarious.
    3) Those houses - you HAVE seen your cousin Dave's house right?
    4) Martha Stewart. What a bitch.
    5) Word verification this time? Hympo.

  2. 1. girl, you are too funny.
    2. no! i haven't seen dave's house. picture's please. i'll post it.
    3. they said it's not so much martha that makes them do it, as they don't want to deal with martha if they don't. so, yes, you're correct.
    4. why you always up on my hympo? i dunno. that's what it sounded like to me.