ah friday. the end of the normal person's work week, the start of mine. i've been at my job for almost three years. just long enough for some not so regular customers to begin saying, "oh my god, you're still here?!" when they walk in.
luckily, i like where i work. the shift starts with food and ends with laughter and wine. what could be better? (a book deal). but just because the boys i work with are like brothers -- ones who give great backrubs and make me giggle til i'm redfaced -- it doesn't mean i don't feel like meeping and beeping like a robot a few times per shift.
customer: "can you say those specials again from the beginning?"
me in a muppet/robot voice: "meee-eep, bee-iwouldbe-ep mehappy to beep."
how i long to do this tableside. sadly, i never will. odd thing about waiting tables, the tip money increases the nicer and more efficient you are (go figure, no beepers need apply), but it helps to do it in my head. anyone else have any tricks that get you through the workday? i'd love to hear.
as my agent would say, onward! this weekend i'll be creating mini video clips for my novel and perhaps will be trying to create an author video. here's what i have so far. be warned. there is mild swearing and light humiliation in the clip you're about to watch.
I'm a geek and a nerd, but I don't think my former employers in the restaurant cared if I used movie quotes or funny accents. I was aloof and goofy and I think the customers liked it. I used to say the beef ribs we served on Sunday Brunch were 'just like the ones that tipped over Fred Flintstones car.' I quoted Ferris Buehlers "it's so choice, you have to get your hands on one, if you have the means" a few times. Some funny portmanteaus and nonsense words and stilted English are always fun. "Thine shall have mental custardation. Eggsellentay!" Malapropisms and nonsequiturs can make your day more fun. Or reciting the lyrics to a song like it's a serious poem. Maybe ya knew all this already, maybe I'm not the barometermaid for humor, but I can definitely be memorable. Maybe. :^)
ReplyDeleteSome of the coolest nonsense words might even be the verification letters you have to type to publish your post. My last one was stincit. Maybe it's Latin for 'it smells.' :^)
ReplyDeleteYou are just too cute, I think you should also get into acting :) or a one woman show
ReplyDeletebtw meep is also the exclusive sound my cat makes
ReplyDeleteVery funnny (yes the extra "n" is intentional). Miss you!
ReplyDeleteI THOUGHT I heard some beeping and booping when we saw you last night! Great to see you, as always, and I'll keep an eye peeled for new entries.
ReplyDeletewell and thank goodness for people like you and drury! you're what makes the job great. and the wine helps too. did i mention the wine yet:)
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