a step

on Monday i received an email telling me that Google was taking the ads off my blogs. apparently, there had been too much unlawful clicking.

what can i say? people who love me in Buffalo are really interested in online degrees.

the day i received the email i was bummed. i'd dropped a shift at work so i could write more and this ad money would have been a nice, breath-easier supplement. but as i told a co-worker that night, i wasn't all that surprised.

i never buy lotto tickets. my birthday scratch-offs are always duds. i can never play along with the question "what would you do if you won a million dollars?" because i've always been certain i'd never secure my future through luck. (and apparently not through unlawful clicks either). i've always known the only way i'd get anywhere is through lots of hard work.

or at least hopefully i'd get somewhere. because so far, i was still just here.

later that same evening, something exciting happened. after work, i had a voicemail! (seriously, nothing like working eight hours to glance at your phone and see that nobody thought of you the whole time.) even better than that, the voicemail was from Chelsea at SCBWI. she had some good news.

guess who won the SCBWI 2011 WIP Grant for Contemporary YA Fiction sponsored by Amazon?

MEEEEEEE! i did. this un-photogenic but genuinely happy girl:

does this mean my book is certain to be published? no. does this mean my future is secure? heck no. but it does mean that for the very first time in my writing life, hard work has paid off. and that feels better than a lotto win (okay, lets say better than a small lotto win).

it feels indescribably, take a deep breath, laughing for no reason on the street, smiling like a lunatic at strangers, i've taken a tiny step towards somewhere, GREAT!

so thank you SCBWI. thank you Amazon. thank you unlawful clicker in Buffalo who's been lighting all those candles for months hoping that something nice like this would happen -- ie thank you mama. thank you my amazing crit partner for the fierce thoughtful reads. thank you my sisters for squealing with me. thank you my new awesome writer friend who's gotten me more twitter followers than i've gotten myself. thank you cafe bustello for all the jittery morning fuel you've provided. thank you agent who's been telling me i had a future this whole time. and thank you all my fabulous blog readers and commenters.

hopefully see you all on the publication side.

oh and well, i'll also see you Monday for my regular blog post. and for months and months and months before anything happens with The Secret Keepers.

but until then, since i'm a big believer in giving something back when you get something, come see me on Monday for a book giveaway! a good one. can you say Laini Taylor?